The Repair Of Attachment Styles As A Counseling

THE REPAIR OF ATTACHMENT STYLES AS A COUNSELING METHODOLOGY Many of the issues that bring couples to counseling involve attachment-related issues. The desire for connection with others is a normal aspect of human development. The natural desire for bonding with others does not mean that people share the same level of drive to pursue relationships with others. The level of desire for connection with others will be influenced by attachment orientation. ATTACHMENT STYLES The ideal attachment style is secure. Secure attachment develops out of positive interactions between infants and caregivers. The interactions need to be consistent, loving, and rewarding. The positives interactions lead to positive perceptions of self and others as the infant’s sense of self-awareness increases. Infants become able to reciprocate positive and loving interactions with normal maturation. The other types of attachment are insecure. The insecure attachment styles are ambivalent, avoidant, or disorganized. The ambivalent style is clingy, anxious, and demanding in relationships and often “need” someone even if the relationship is unhealthy. The avoidant style avoids intimacy because others will abandon you. The disorganized style often marks a person with a history of victimization and trauma. The disorganized person wants intimacy but the partner could also be the source of great pain. All three styles would be sufficient reasons for people to seek counseling. SOLUTION Attachment styles are shaped early in life and are reinforced by familiar patterns of behavior. The familiar patterns of behavior are preconscious are simply the ways we view and do things. A client’s attachment-orientation could be the source of his or her problems. The difficult though possible task is to change one’s beliefs and behavior. In short, a change of attachment-orientation is possible. Solomon (2009) applied the idea of attachment repair to marriage counseling. Solomon’s suggestions would work in any therapeutic setting when the client struggles with attachment issues. 1. Create a safe environment. The safe environment encourages the client to explore views of self and others without criticism. Some beliefs may be painful. 2. Encourage open and honest communication. Clients may have a history of dishonesty with self and others. For instance, a person with an insecure attachment style might persistently self-sabotage relationships but assume the problems are due to the other person. The understanding of insecure attachment styles could help the client see that he or she bears the primary responsibility for the problems in the relationship. 3. Create a treatment plan. A treatment plan should include healthy and positive behavior. The goal is for the new behavior to create new behavioral patterns that replace destructive behaviors that are reinforcing the attachment problems. The repetition of new healthy behaviors eventually repairs perceptions of self and others. Positive perceptions of self and others empower the individual to experience fulfilling relationships. Reference Solomon, M. (2009). Attachment Repair in Couples Therapy: A Prototype for Treatment of Intimate Relationships. Journal of Clinical Social Work, 34, 214-223. DOI 10.1007/s10615-009-0217-1 Category:Home › Other • Pomegranates: A newly discovered superfood • Where did the joke why did the chicken cross the road come from and why is it funny? • Can mothers diagnosed with bipolar disorder make good parents? • Spiritual evolution of human consciousness • Tips for getting a college basketball scholarship • Living with Pseudotumor cerebri (PTC) • Caring for the caregiver • Technologys impact on society